F

‘Full of shit’or more politically and scientifically correct’ fecal impaction’ 

The patient may not know but this condition can easily be a battleground between nurses and doctors .

As a geriatrician I like to use the gentlest treatment possible which is some times soap suds enema until clear or even tap water enema however they require repeated administration and very gentle hands. In addition I like to add oral miralax.

 Surprisingly , a lot of nurses don’t have time for this . They prefer stronger drugs. The message here is to stay the course even when you are getting pages every fifteen minutes asking you to go the other way. As long as the patient tolerates it continue to ‘do no harm’

Doctor

Doctor cranky” so you were trying to kill Yourself  , again”

Patient “Yes”

Doctor cranky “With the same old medicines”

Patient”yes”

Doctor cranky” why don’t you guys learn. You know how much money and effort you have cost all of us who are trying to save your life. I really  wish you stop doing this . This is crazy. You are young. What could be so bad?”

Patient  “well..my girlfriend hates me because I don’t bring any money, but it’s not really my fault. My license is suspended on DUI . And thats because I have four children from four different women and they all keep calling me for money . I have to take some medicine and a drink now and then to calm me down . The worst thing is  I play call of duty at lest 10 hours a day and I keep dying in that too . All this nagging and bitching keeps me from concentrating ”

Doctor Cranky “you do know there is a train track which goes right through the town”